Thursday, June 21, 2012

Things I know about: Sports Massage

If you've been exercising a lot (or if you're really unfortunate, if you've been exercising just a little) you may find yourself in the position of having a sore or tight whatnot that requires assistance to ease the discomfort.  Last year, due to an epic battle with shin splints (I am currently winning - go me!) I have found myself in the unique and arguably quite wanky position of being able to say 'I have an appointment with my sports massuese' on a frequent basis.  As I have spent quite a few hours 'on the table', I thought I would share some of the insights I have gained.

In case you were wondering…..yes, those are my legs….in my dreams

  • Sports massage hurts……..…alot
  • Remember giving birth?  [No neither do I, as I was off my face on Pethidine]  The bad news is that it hurts as bad as that.  The good news is that it only lasts an hour
  • Lying face down on the massage table is the best position to be in, because your masseuse cannot see all the swear words you are silently mouthing
  • I have said more swear words on my Masseuse's table than I have in the rest of my life
  • Having a strange man handle your muffin top is a very effective incentive to 'Step away from the chocolate'
  • I have been known to almost cry during particularly painful bits….almost.
  • Getting the lower half of your body 'worked on' is a very effective workout for your upper body - it's amazing how sore you can be after gripping the table tensely for 60 minutes.
  • On 'not so sore' days, getting a sports massage is great because you can talk for 60 minutes non-stop on any topic of your choice and your masseuse has to listen
  • On sore days, getting any sound other than a swear word out is just not possible.
  • You can guarantee that after a sports massage, I will wake up every time I turn over in the night - ouch!
  • You can guarantee that 24 hours after a sports massage I will feel like a new woman!
  • Because I know that in a days time I will feel like a new woman, you can guarantee that I will have made another appointment before I leave


  1. I don't like the massages that hurt a lot and there's mounting evidence that they're not that beneficial.  I've taken to Chinese Tuina massage of late.  It's relaxing and amusing at the same time :)

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